You Need To Feel Alive Again: The Old Guy Wisdom of Bob Harris.

The first thing you probably saw on this site is the famous quote by Bob Harris from a movie near and dear to me: Lost In Translation. Here is the exact scene:

If you have not seen the movie, please do so.

You owe it to yourself.

I recommend getting cozy with a big blanket on your couch.

Drink some water.

Put the 'Do Not Disturb' sign on the doorknob and set it on the smartphone.

What is it about?

Without spoiling anything, the story is about two strangers who meet in Tokyo, Japan in 2003. One of them, Bob Harris, is a washed up actor in his 50's filming a $2 million dollar Suntory whisky commercial.

The other, Charlotte, is a 20-something newly wed traveling with her photographer husband for a celebrity shoot. They both undergo a problem that occurs at all ages at anytime in our lives: an existential crisis. Who am I?

The movie explores what we all feel: isolation, a sense of loneliness in the world, not connecting with anyone, the feeling of being 'stuck'. Even though Charlotte is a married college graduate and Bob is a millionaire actor with his own wife and kids, they both share something in common: They don't know who they really are. Why?

Bob Harris is unfulfilled by his career. He is in a declining 25-year-marriage. He is not connected to his identity and lives life on auto-pilot showing up to commercial shoots, talkshows, and collecting a big check. This is called a 'mid-life crisis'.

Charlotte, a new graduate, is beginning her life. She is not sure what to do and her workaholic husband is stuck in his own world. She sits, sleeps, and wonders of herself and her future. This is called a 'quarter-life crisis'.

We all know people like this.

Who am I? What am I doing here?

Most people follow a life plan that resembles a check list. It might look something like this:

1. Go to college.

2. Get a job.

3. Get married.

4. Have kids.

5. ???

Maybe you know people like this. Maybe you are one of these people. Keeping life in order is the first thing you gotta do if you even want to have a life in the first place.

You would think that crossing off each item on that list would mean that that person is happier. Yet, despite all the happy images you might see of these people on social media, you feel like the reason they are posting in the first place is as if they are confirming what they have is even real.

So what's missing from this list?

To answer this, lets bring out an entirely different list that is a bit more scary but a lot more revealing:

1. "I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me."

2. "I wish I hadn't worked so hard."

3. "I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings."

4. "I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends."

5. "I wish I had let myself be happier."

This list is sequenced by ranking. It is derived from The Top Five Regrets of The Dying by Bronnie Ware, a palliative care nurse in Australia. The book was written by the self reported observations of Ware.

While the recording and analysis of this data is shaky, it seems like it resonates with quite a lot of people online. Do you feel the same?

Most people I talk to are already living number 1. When I ask them why, they mainly say it's due to both the practicality that their current life brings, but most importantly, the stability.

There is nothing wrong with their answer. However, if most people knew what they could do, why they were holding back, and had the ability to change it, they would.

Okay, so Bob Harris has his famous quote, but what about the other stranger, Charlotte?

• "I just feel so alone, even when I'm surrounded by other people."

• "I just don't know what I'm supposed to be."

• "I went to this shrine today, and, um, there were these monks, and they were chanting, and I didn't feel anything."

Without dragging this first blog post on for any longer, let's get to the point:

The good news is is that an identity crisis can occur at anytime for anyone anywhere.

The better new is, you can solve it.

When you watch Lost In Translation, try to find what the characters are finding.

Break familiarity.

Resist fixity.

And keep trying new things all the time.

Life is too short not to.

You need to feel life again.

More to come and thanks for reading.

What do you think? Do you agree?

• Yes. I think the Top 5 Regrets of Dying list is accurate.
• No. This is not entirely accurate.
• I am 50-50 about it.
• I have another opinion about it.

If you feel like you can get more value out of your life talking to me, click here to book a call.